Sunday, November 23, 2014

'Not all who wander are lost'

So I want to travel. Beyond what's known. 
Travel far and wide. See all that God has created. The top view from the highest mountain and dive into the lowest creek of the ocean! 
I want to live. Breathe from the 5 senses I know I am lucky to have! Use my body as the best instrument I would ever own. Open my mind - meet new people & understand their culture. 
And in the diversity of this galaxy, I want to experience the basics that unite us all - human emotion & music. Which needs no language or pin code to be understood. 
I want to be a wanderer. Make memories. Know am doing the best I can, living it the best it can be lived! Be the tiny speck in the universe that I am and yet a being  capable of love, life and emotion with a gazillion cells running through my body! 
I want to travel. Beyond the known. Yes I do. 

"Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere.. But sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself" 

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Crystal Ball , that costs me a 100 dreams!

To know that an unwrapped gift has a book you'll never read would be so boring...

To know that the man you love flirting with is going to get gay real soon would break your heart...
To know that the man you look upto, worked his way up sleeping around, would make this world a really bad place..
To know your favourite love song was written as a devotional number would disgust you...

But I do want to know if I'm ever going to get the book I always wanted to read...
But I do want to know if I'm ever going to get that man to choose me over his partner...
But I do want to know if I'm ever going to get to where my hero is and yet keep it a clean road...
But I do want to know if I'm ever going to sing my own song and make it work...

Knowing the future may be scary and all too boring...but I do want to know if i will be able to turn it around to where i see it going?
What we need is not the will to believe, but the wish to find out.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

My Mind has a Mind of its Own!

Everything will be perfect. Its an ideal world. The last bus to your destination will wait till you get in and the best job in that want is custom-made for you. I am a dreamer. And they are not merely my thoughts, wishes or desires - which any and every lay man may have. These are, but, experiences. I love my mind to just 'flow' to the ideas of the 'ideal world' - one that is created by you and you alone. Its as if, you're given your own 5 acres of land in the woods and you paintbrush all elements of beauty that you want to put in for your happiness. There is just a different joy in knowing what makes you happy and doing it over and over again. For that moment of happiness - you think of no one but yourself.

When was that moment for you that made you happy - really really happy? Like when you kicked your shoe off in your room and just danced to a song that was never playing out loud? Happy with the person that you are. Happy with the life that you have. Happy with the way you live it.

So, whats wrong in being a dreamer? I am one. And a big one at that. I confess. Yes it is the ideal world - the 'dream world' as you may call it. So what? Yes, not every moment translates to one of reality. Not every dream would come true. But till that reality breaks in, why cant one go on dreaming? The image of this game often crosses my mind where everyone must carry the lemon on the spoon, holding it between their teeth - to reach the final line the fastest. Sometimes I feel I'm one of them, but leading the race. And as I keep walking faster balancing the spoon - I pass those who failed to make it, laughing out loud and shouting 'What a stupid game!' But I try and figure it all out in my head as I go on walking. I am the one in the front and they arnet. It might just be a stupid game - a stupid belief - but face it, they'll never really know how it is to win it and get the 'stupid' prize home! Well...years down the line, even I may find it stupid - but thats it! Till that moment when I really do - Why stop walking? Why stop the game? Why stop feeling happy?

"You belong to a different era" - I've heard this before. Maybe I do. And as I meet more people of 'this era', the more 'different' I feel. But I take pride in it. I would not cut my hair just to know how it feels to be looking crazily-different to the world at large! But I would wear white and dance in the rain when all by myself! There are things I would never do - knowing that I should or am supposed to do - like find out the most eligible bachelor and introduce myself to him at the party. But then there are things that I do and religiously follow which nobody in 'today's era' believes in..

So you can well imagine what my 'dreamland' is like! It was created by my imagination some 10 to 12 years back...and today I sometimes think, if the life I live today looks even a bit like the 'dream' I envisioned for myself when I would be 24...? As I keep treading on, trying to make all my dreams come true - Newer, fresher and larger dreams get woven. And its almost like its not even in my control - my mind has a mind of its own! And so the dreamer in me will never die till the mind in me keeps striving on to make those dreams a reality!

"If it is to be, it is up to me."

Sunday, January 24, 2010



In a city full of people with the same dreams who share the road with you every evening, some you over look while some obstruct your pace. In the hustle bustle and chaos of what they call ‘the fast life’ of Bombay, amidst the glitz and the glamour, in every rented house... lies a pack of dreams – rusting away to the struggle of making it somewhere. Somewhere in the eyes of this fake world or perhaps somewhere in the eyes of your parents.. Somewhere in your own eyes or somewhere in the long inexplicable stares of your patronizing boss. Its almost every day that one battles these questions, of ‘What If?’. Its like a reserve of a 100 coins slipping away every day leaving you with little option to enjoy each expense as you keep worrying what happens when all is gone?

So what is it about this city, this life, this pain that makes us stay longer, battle it all out, get up yet again with the same passion? It is, the same feeling that we felt when we would play Hide and seek as kids hours and hours in the sun only to experience the joy of that one moment when you would win. The dark corner and the solitude wouldn’t scare us, it would be the thrill and the chase of winning the game that kept us going. Day after day, hours of sweat and thumping hearts... we would love this game.

Scores of films and novels and columns have been written on staying alone in Bombay – this city of unending dreams where some fall in love with this city while some simply fall in love. The film ends with a beautiful song in the rains of the city and tells us of a happy ending. Well, which is precisely the reason why it is to be enjoyed in those 3 hours of comfortable theatre velvet and come back to what is real and your own. Some how these 3 hours of the film seems to be stretching over 80 years of your own life, where this is perhaps the ophase right before or after the intermission. The phase where things change. Story shifts, new protagonists enter, hero develops to do something he’s never done before, the heroine rebels home. .. All happens in that one ‘usual day’ of morning tea, day in office, evening with friends and the night alone.

Yet it is this very drama that unfolds in those subtle ways every day, often unsettling, that causes you to want to steer this film in a new direction. For it to have a new ending, every day. Somewhere lying unnoticed beneath the crumpled clothes, forever buzzing mobile phones, house lease papers and job contracts, lies a passion enveloped by a halo of a dream that crawls up in your bed beside you every night- showing you a vision so beautiful, a dream so achieve-able, a target so close...that every morning you wake up with enthusiasm renewed.

And as you go on sharing the sidewalks with those with the same dreams, you don’t seem to mind. And suddenly the noisy chaos of what they call ‘the fast life of the city’, the loud screeches of vehicles and conversations doesn’t seem to bother you. The loud music buzzing from those night clubs and cars doesn’t amaze you... as this city looks the same as it did when you came in. Nothing around you changed. What's different is, today you’re not looking around or are ears to the mad sounds of this city. You’re treading along the same path, humming your own beautiful song...

"Youth is, after all, just a moment, but it is the moment, the spark, that you always carry in your heart."

Thursday, December 17, 2009

True happiness lies in the MOST SIMPLE JOYS OF LIFE

  • Speaking to Mom and Dad kissing them goodnight over telephone miles away makes me truly happy.

  • Genuine Appreciation from my bosses on what I put sweat on makes my day.

  • A genuine compliment from anyone early in the day makes me smile.

  • A long heartfelt email from my best friends – the first thing i read in the day, makes me smile.

  • A romantic film packed with goose bumpy emotional scenes makes me sigh.

  • Great weather makes me happy.

  • Cool breeze blowing on my face makes me forget my worries.

  • A long walk with great music makes me happy.

  • The idea of sharing delicious pasta / coffee with a great friend after a hectic day of work makes me smile.

  • Calling your friend, bursting with gossip, to know she’s been meaning to tell you loads too just makes me laugh out loud!

  • A cup of hot tea after a heavy meal with nothing else to worry about makes me feel at ease.

  • Wrapping gifts for someone you love, not knowing how she’s going to react to them makes my heart race.

  • Waking up in the morning to find your hair smooth and bouncy makes my day.

  • On a random conversation, remembering the most foolish and funniest memories of kids with my sister, laughing our heads off – makes me so happy.

  • Pedicure after a long window shopping session makes me feel good about myself.

  • Benetton trial rooms make me happy!

  • Watching a flick and looking forward to someone great beside me someday, arm to arm makes me blush!

  • Waking up at my regular 8 am alarm only to realize it’s a Sunday instantly makes me happy!

  • Random plans of partying the night out makes me jump!

  • Star gazing (with no signs of mosquitoes) on a pleasant night makes me dreamy.

  • Terribly bored and flipping channels, finding my favourite movie that’s just begun makes me happy.

  • A photogenic picture of mine makes me happy.

  • A smile from a stranger makes me happy.

  • My religious bend of mind makes me proud of myself. (Esp after a well –kept fast).

  • Throwing dinners / get togethers / parties at my house – making sure my guests find comfort when they stay with me – makes me happy.

  • Long emails make me happy!

  • Someone guessing me to be younger than what I am makes me happy.

  • Soulful music makes me dreamy.

  • A good night and a good morning message make me happy!

  • Friends and long conversations with them make me happy!


" If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. "

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Pursuit of Happyness.

As the film quite clearly establishes – beyond a point in life, Happiness IS to be pursued and well even when it is, it’s not always the right spelling!

As we’re young, there’s almost nothing that we’re required to do be happy – the word then is ‘security’. We need security and get it in the arms of loved ones. Growing up, definitions of being ‘happy’ change with time – from being the popular one in school, to having a boy friend, to movies, latest dress and haircuts, getting good grades, getting the best mobile, getting into a good college and well perhaps from here is when the ‘Pursuit’ begins.

You enter twenties. You begin to define ‘happiness’. What does it really translate for you?
You meet different people, you return home to look at yourself in the mirror and a hazy reflection begins to form – Identity crisis happens and before you know, college pretty much redefines you into An individual. You become YOU. Beliefs, attitude, personality emerges. You discover that this is what i like and what i don’t – and begin to be okay with it. But once you are found by you, you begin to search for happiness. What makes you happy and how long does that really last. I say this as happiness may be found in the first guy you fell in love with and thought were soul mates but you realize how long this new found happiness really lasts when you also have your first heart break.

You grow up. Worse, you realize it. Then as if all of a sudden, you need to give yourself challenges, goals, ambitions – not to really prove the world who you are, but almost innately, to know for yourself who you really are. At this point – mid twenties, you perhaps take your first step outside home. Look around this new world of independence.

You guessed it would be hard – like a sparrow flying out from home nest to test her wings. Well, it was hard. You missed home. You missed the mother sparrow feeding you Cerelac J But true to your ‘time’ you are giving yourself these challenges. So you’d know if you’ll crack it. This is perhaps the ‘struggle’ in each one’s life – when they stand on their two feet and step out of their dome to in search for their own goals, knowing they need not do it – they could be as they are, but something – maybe the twenty years put in to find who they are, prompts them to go and test their limits. To let the eagles soar above them and not be fascinated.

This is the point in life for me. My questions. My answers. My judgements. My decisions. My mistakes. My regrets. My goals. My restlessness. My choices. My repercussions. Every day is a new day. But it remains MY DAY and what I make of it.

And while I am busy making my own world away from this one, The question of happYness stays steamed out on the glass of my mirror. But as i clear the steam away, I see in the mirror, the Pursuit to this Mis-spelt word that is going to drive me along the day. And I figure why. Why happiness begins to be pursued and every night as we close our eyes, we know if we really found it.
The pursuit of Happyness – you don’t need to be a poor nigger in a racist New Yorkian country with a broken marriage and a three year old son asking questions to really know what this flick was all about. At the core of this film, lies what is basic to each one of us when we face our time. Pursuit. To our own happiness.
One must have chaos within oneself in order to give rise to a dancing star!

Friday, May 1, 2009




'Another turning point;a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;directs you where to go.

So make the best of this testand don't ask why.

It's not a questionbut a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable...but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf In good health and good time...

Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,it was worth all the while...

It's something unpredictable...but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable...but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable...but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.